

Bosmer are only fun until you realize that they are the shittiest race in the game, only to be outed by the Imperials. The First Bosmer you see, named Fargoth, creeps on you and begs you to give him a fucking ring. But anything else beyond hopping around like a homosexual toad taking it in the ass will result in getting yourself killed. They excel in archery, sneaking, light armor, acrobatics, and being prancing faggots.

Bosmer are characters that, like most of the races, are forced to stick to one class type.

Bosmer: Tree hugging, Legolas wannabe faggots.Their overpowered daily power is the ability to breath underwater (so fucking useful, amarite guise?). Because they live in Blackmarsh, Morrowind's septic tank, Argonians have a resistance to diseases and poisons. Argonians: Bethesda loves to harbor the attention of any fandom they can get, so why not get scalies excited to buy the games as well? Argonians are a bunch of tribal Lizards who serve as slaves for the glorious Dunmer master race.They have a boost in magicka, but every fucking attack kills you instantly. Their major Skills deal with shooting pixie dust out of their ass cheeks. Altmer: Altmer (or High Elves, if you are a filthy Casual) are smug faggots who love to sit around and smell their golden farts.The player is given ten races to choose from, Four humans, Three elves, orcs, Khajiit, and Argonians. Just like all Elder Scrolls game's, the player starts off the boat with the ability to create a unique and original character. I can only assume that Bethesda's writers have been showered with awards and all the buttsex they could ever desire thanks to their truly remarkable literary triumphs. This main quest is stunningly short, essentially requiring the player to nose around a bit, befriend some ignorant savages, and kill a purple, pro-ana, half naked demigod bearing a faggy mask and red loincloth. "Get out of your filthy cell and save our asses," would seem to be the standard modus operandi for the Empire, which happens to rule the known world.

Gameplay wise, no one seems to be aware of any potential conflict of interest. The player arrives in Vvardenfel as an amnesiac prisoner, only to be immediately released so that he might perform a vital and far reaching task for his one time captors.
